Friday, August 19, 2005

A Knitting Question!

First of all, I have to say a big thank you to everyone who left comments about the sun quilt I made for Tristan. :::beam::: I won't send out individual replies this time around, since "thank you for the kind words" pretty much covers it, but truly, they were much appreciated. Now, for today I have a knitting question. I know this isn't a knitting blog. This is sometimes a quilt blog and quite often a "read Deb's self-absorbed thoughts on whateverthehell is flittering through her mind at the moment" blog. Which, I guess, could be where this knitting thing comes in. As I've mentioned before, I'm not actually a knitter, at least not in any meaningful sense. I'm violently allergic to wool and hives are not a good look on me, so I can't use most of the gorgeous yarns that "real" knitters love best. And I only know one stitch. That's it. I can cast on, make one stitch, over and over and over, stitch after stitch, row after row, and I can cast off. What happens when you do that is that you end up with a big rectangle, a.k.a. a scarf. So I make a lot of scarves. I literally don't know how many scarves I have hanging in the closet and I refuse to go count, but a general estimate would be "lots". I've also given away many scarves to family and friends, whether they want them or not. Deb (holding up a raggedy, not-especially straight, fuzzy rectangle in some violent color): Here! Have a scarf! Visiting Friend: Oh, thanks, but um, really, I don't need a scarf. Deb (easing her body between the V.F. and the front door): No. Really. I insist. Take a scarf. I WANT you to have it. I have plenty! Visiting Friend (edging away uneasily): Um, but I really don't wear scarves. Deb (baring her teeth in what we'll call a smile): Oh, hahaha, come on, take it. Seriously. I won't let you leave without it. Hahaha. Visiting Friend (looking distinctly trapped): Oh. Ok, well, thanks for the scarf. It's, um....very nice of you. Deb (beaming): You're welcome! So, anyway, back to my question. I've been knitting now and then on my latest faaaaabulous scarf creation and I'm using a yarn I've never used before. I don't remember what it's called and I already threw away the paper, but it's a double strand thing, and both strands are no doubt something entirely unnatural....nylon maybe. I dunno. One strand is a sort of chenille stuff and the other is an eyelash yarn and they're sold all twisted around each other. What the hell do I know? I just liked the colors and it looked soft and fuzzy. (Soft and fuzzy are big selling points with me and yarn.) Here's a photo of the yarn, with the strands separated so you can see each one. Now here's a photo of the scarf I've been knitting with it, so I can show you what's been happening. See the oversized loopy thing I'm holding up with my finger?? That keeps happening over and over and OVER. It's like no matter what I do I can't keep the tension the same on the eyelash strand (which is very well-behaved) and the chenille strand (which is evil yarn, obviously manufactured in Satan's workshop). So, since I know some of you out there who read RSR actually knit for real, can you tell me what's up with this?? Am I doing something wrong or is this an inevitable result of cheap, crappy yarn?? Is there a "cure" now that I have a hunk done or have I been wasting my time? Here's the possible next steps as I see them: 1. I can just cast off on what I've already finished and give it to EvilDemonKitty Sky to play with. He LOVES yarn. You show him anything knitted or crocheted and he immediately wants to "make biscuits*" and purrs and drools and generally goes creepily orgasmic about the whole thing. So he'd probably actually LIKE the extra loopy things. (*making biscuits = that kneading thing cats sometimes do with their paws, especially cats who were weaned a bit too soon. Also, for any non-US readers, I mean biscuits as in US biscuits, aka scones, not biscuits as in UK biscuits, aka cookies.) 2. I can finish it to scarf length, complete with horrid loopy things and give it to someone I dislike, acting very sincere. This one actually appeals greatly to my evil side, but I wonder about the wisdom of it from a karma point of view. If I thought any more Jehovah's Witnesses would be coming here, I'd be tempted to save it for that occasion and tell them very sweetly that I'll only take a copy of the Watchtower if they'll take this scarf in exchange and swear to God that they'll wear it to their next worship service. But it's been a long time since any JW folks showed up here. It may have something to do with the fact that the last batch hardly got a word in edgewise as I trapped them on the porch and gave them a long lecture on the rudeness of showing up at someone's home, uninvited, and telling them their spiritual beliefs are wrong. So, Option Two is somewhat appealing but may have drawbacks. 3. I figure this third scenario is unlikely, but it is, nevertheless, the whole reason behind this post. Option Three would be that someone out there can tell me how to salvage this mess so that I could finish it to be something that I wouldn't be embarrassed to either wear in public myself or give to a for-real friend. Assuming, that is, that any of my for-real friends are brave enough to visit after reading this post. Ahem.

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