....when you go out for a nice quiet Sunday lunch with your sweetheart and the running commentary inside your head sounds something like this:
"Oh man, that dress is MILES too long for her and at least a size too big. It's like a sack! Say it after me, honey - 'structure'.
Ooh, the hot 'n' sour soup is good today!
Ack! In WHAT UNIVERSE would anyone think it's ok to be seen in public in that hat when you aren't fishing?? That's just so wrong. And you could be such a nice-looking young man if you'd lose the hat and wear some shorts that actually freakin' FIT. Don't you WANT to get laid?
Hhmmm...speaking of wrong, I have my doubts about this shrimp. I think we'll pass on the rest of the shrimp.
Geeeeze, THAT skirt, on the other hand, is both too short and way too tight. Does your mama know you're out in public in that, girlfriend? Maybe I should introduce you to guy in the hat.
The stirfry needs more broccoli.
The shoes. Oh dear lord, would you just LOOK at all the ugly shoes. I could just weep.
Oh, the pineapple is nice and fresh today! Yum!"
Don't worry, I didn't say any of it out loud (well except for the parts about the shrimp and the pineapple). But still.....I think I'm gonna lay off watching TLC for a little while. Sigh.