The Perfect Meme

Joshilyn, over at Faster than Kudzu, inspired by Pam McNew, proposed the question, what would you write if you could write your dream bio --- uncensored and totally untrue? I'm not an author, but we visual artist types have to write those blasted artist bios sometimes too, so here is my Bio ala Joshilyn:

Deb Richardson was born, an undisclosed number of years ago, in a cross-fire hurricane. It is rumored that she howled at her ma in the driving rain. A few years later, after receiving advanced degrees in Astrophysics and Cookie Bakeology, Ms. Richardson embarked on a whirlwind world-wide tour with Heart, as the lead singer and adopted third Wilson Sister. The tour ended in Sweden so that Ms. Richardson could accept the Nobel Peace Prize for her invention of a television that automatically mutes annoying commercials, televangelists, and Jerry Springer. After leaving Sweden, Ms. Richardson spent 5 years exploring the galaxy aboard the Starship Enterprise. Having recently left a heartbroken Captain Picard crying into his tea (Earl Grey, hot), she has returned to earth to make a splash in the competitive world of art quilting. Here is what a recent exhibit juror, who asked to remain anonymous, had to say about viewing Ms. Richardson's work: "I laughed, I cried, I did cartwheels. It was a mind-blowing, life-altering experience. Or was that life-blowing and mind-altering? Um...never mind...." Ms. Richardson's shoe collection is said to currently number 3,497 pairs.