Friday, March 10, 2006

BingePurge in Bookville

Last night I had intended to watch "Walk the Line" on DVD, but Ma Nature had other plans. About the time "Survivor" ended we had some violent thunderstorms roll through our area and the electricity went out, then back on, then OUT, then back on, then...well you get the idea. It was being flukey to say the least, and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to watch a movie. So I took my current book and went to bed, figuring even if the electricity went off and stayed off, I could either use my IttyBittyBookLight to read a little more or try to go to sleep earlier than usual. Now here is where I have a small confession to make. It would be nice to tell you all that I was reading something original and challenging and so on, but, um...no. You see, I have a small addiction to romance novels. You know the ones - the bodice rippers with the embarrassing ManTitty covers. They are a binge thing for me. I get in a mood to read that genre and off I go, reading one after another after another, like someone gorging on a box of chocolates, until at some point I realize I feel a teensy bit queasy and it's time to push the box away and ignore them until the next time the craving hits. I think I reached that point last night. This was an ok book as these things go. I mean, yes... it had the typical romance heroine, the Rufus Papilla Cornus Cauda Ferveo Virgo (Red-breasted Horny-tailed Orgasmic Virgin), a rare species in most parts of the world but as thick on the ground as dew in their indigenous land of Romancylvania, where they can be found braiding one another's shining tresses and sewing silk roses to their white undergarments with tiny stitches; except for the subspecies Rufus Papilla Cornus Cauda Ferveo Virgo Dissimulo (Red-breasted Horny-tailed Orgasmic Virgin in Disguise) who can be found wearing her brother's clothing, (which luckily perfectly hides the fact that she has a 36D bustline), and practicing fencing. Naturally the heroine soon met a Validus Firmus Adulescens Vir Tantus (a Strong, Firm Young Man of Heroic Proportions), also indigenous to the region, and they proceeded to alternately argue with each other and have instantly pain-free, multi-orgasmic sex while eluding the Crudelis Monstrum (Cruel Monster) who wanted our heroine for himself. All that is pretty typical for this genre, really. I'm not sure what finally made me go "gaaaah" and toss the book aside to go to sleep. It might have been the circa 1840 shower sex scene, or it could have been the fact that the Validus Firmus Adulescens Vir Tantus turned out to be the subspecies Clam Patricius (Secret Nobleman), but whatever the cause I found myself suddenly wanting a nice normal serial killer murder mystery or an epic about a bio-engineered plague or something to cleanse my palate. Let's see, where did I put that last Kathy Reichs book? That should do the trick. Oh yeah, and here's another photo from the same series as the one I posted yesterday: "Walking Through"

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