Sunday, August 21, 2005

Szechuan Chicken In Garlic Sauce with a Side Order of Shoes, To Go

J and I decided we wanted Chinese food for lunch today, so off I went to Flemingsburg, the closest town with an actual restaurant. I placed our order and had a few minutes to kill while they got it together. I never call it in because we live just enough too far away that if I call it in it's cold by the time I get there. So what did I do to pass the necessary ten minutes? I bought a newspaper. I glanced at a book of real estate listings. I bought shoes. What, you mean everyone doesn't buy shoes while they're waiting on lunch? Come one! I once saw my sister buy 3 pairs when we had a few minutes to kill before a family dinner. Anyway, I couldn't resist. Really. They were on a clearance rack and the price had been so drastically reduced they might as well have been sitting on the curb with a "free to a good home" sign on them. Take a look. Cute, yes? And notice the coordinating nail polish. I know they'll probably be out of fashion by next summer, but I don't much care. I'll most likely wear them anyway. I've had a thing for beady embellishments since long before they were "in" again. Or in other words, to paraphrase a Lorrie Morgan song, "I was Boho when Boho wasn't coo-oool...." Lunch was good too, except I was less than happy with the fortune cookies. This particular restaurant gets their fortune cookies from someplace that is Really Bad about stuffing them with Fortunes That Aren't Actually Fortunes. I hate that!! It's a pet peeve of mine. A fortune cookie should contain a FORTUNE, dammit, not quote, not an uplifting saying, a FORTUNE. It should say things like "You'll meet a handsome stranger" or "You'll soon travel to an exotic land" or "You will accept the next proposition you hear". They don't have to be true, or wise, or even good, they just need to be FORTUNES. If they aren't going to put fortunes in there, they shouldn't call them fortune cookies. They should call them Pithy Saying Cookies or Wise Observation Cookies or something. Here's what we got in today's batch: The one about wise men making opportunities is mine and the good beginnings thing is Johnny's. Both no doubt wise observations, but not fortunes. I did find it somewhat interesting that our "learn Chinese" words of the day were Question and Result. Seemed very "matchy" somehow. True story --- when J and I were dating, one night we went out to eat at our favorite Chinese restaurant near his at-that-time apartment. After dinner we broke into the fortune cookies and mine said "You or a close friend will be married within the year." When I read it aloud, J got the oddest look on his face and I thought "Oh great, now he probably thinks I'm hinting or something and is going to do that whole commitment-phobia thing" but he just read his and didn't say anything more about it and I put it out of my pretty little head. I found out later that he had JUST (like two days before) chosen and bought an engagement ring and was making plans to surprise me with it on the two-year anniversary of the day we met. Now THAT'S a fortune cookie!

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