Friday, March 11, 2005

DebR Does Formalwear or "She Cleans Up Real Purty"

In my Shoe Self-Portrait post, I promised to show you the whole gold silk ensemble and I'm SURE you've all been waiting with bated breath, so I thought for this next section I'd share some pics of J in a suit and me in grown-up girly clothes, full make-up, etc. Pretty damn exciting, yes? These pics are from formal night number one. I'd bought a champagne-gold, bias-cut silk dress that reminded me of something Jean Harlow would've worn in the 1930's. Here's a pic of J and me standing on a balcony overlooking the Centrum (the ship's lobby). And here are some pics we took of each other outside the theater. J in all his suited glory. Me in all my gold-silk glory. WooHoo! (as QuiltMav Margi would say.) For the second formal night, J wore the same suit with a different shirt and tie. I wore a black velvet skirt with sheer black insets around the bottom and a beaded black top. Here's a link to another pic in the same outfits. And this is my dad and his wife, Merle, on the same night. Now I'll tell on myself. The night I was wearing the black outfit, I took one of my shoe self-portraits in the ladies' room outside the ship's theater....remember that pic? Well what I didn't know at the time I snapped it was that my damn skirt was tucked into my damn pantyhose in back!!!! Aaarrrggghhhh!! Luckily, since the skirt was long and full, it actually covered my ass (barely!) even tucked up like that, but still....I walked over half the damn ship before stepping into an elevator and seeing, with horror, my reflection in the back wall and fixing it. As an aside, it must have been fate that made me step into that elevator because I almost NEVER used the elevators that week. My penance for eating like a pig was to take the stairs EVERYWHERE and I only used the elevator MAYBE a half-dozen times during the entire cruise. Luckily, that night was one of those times! Ok...here's a question for you...why the HELL did no one stop me and TELL me I was a walking Formalwear Faux Pas?? I covered a LOT of ground between the bathroom and the elevator and no one said a word. I mean come on....if I saw a woman walking around like I was walking around, I don't care if she was a complete stranger, I would say tap her on the shoulder, or gently touch her on the arm, and say, as quietly as possible, "Excuse me, but your skirt is tucked up into your pantyhose, exposing more than you probably meant to expose...just thought you should know." There were over 2000 passengers on the ship and another 1000 or so crew. Could NO ONE out of those 3000+ people take a moment to TELL me about my wardrobe malfunction?? So I'm asking now....please, folks...if you ever see me walking around with my skirt tucked into my hose, or my zipper unzipped, or my boob flashing through my shirt, or a big wad of spinach stuck to my teeth....TELL me! I'd rather know sooner than later.

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